If you were one of the many people who offered help to me right after my daughters were born, thank you. I could not accept your help though, and I’ve finally figured out why. I found myself upset at friends, and especially family for even […]
Will my kids know me for my smile, my hugs, or my laughter? Or will they know me from the smile that was on the selfie I just uploaded, or the laugh they hear – not directed towards them, but about someone’s post online.
I have a confession to make. I’ve broken my promise to myself. When I got pregnant, I promised myself that I wouldn’t be on my phone much when the girls arrived. I promised myself that they would come first – always. Texts, phone-calls, notifications…it could all wait. Something I’ve been struggling with though, is putting my phone down because all I want to do is take cute photos of them…”capture the moment” I should say. They smile, and I think “oh my goodness, I have to get that on camera!” But why? That moment will fade whether I take a picture or not, but if I’m missing the moment because the phone is in front of my face, its not worth it. Sure, I can see it on a screen, but what is it really doing on my phone? It’s sitting there. I guarantee you that I will not print 90% of the photos I take of them, so why am I devoting that amount of time to something that will go to waste. I’ve even noticed that if we are having a fun moment, by the time I run and get my phone to take a picture…right when I go back to doing the same thing that was making them laugh…they stop. They stop because they cant see my face anymore, they see the back of my phone. Not really that fun, is it?
I had a moment tonight with my dog, Sydney. The girls were already in bed sleeping, and there was just enough sunlight left in the day that I let my dog out in the backyard to play. I went back to relaxing, phone in hand. A couple minutes later, I looked up and saw my dog with a toy in her mouth…just staring at me. I ignored her. Another couple minutes go by. I looked up again, and there she was. Same spot. She hadn’t moved one bit. Just begging with her sweet puppy eyes for me to come play with her. I realized I haven’t really played with her in several days. The girls have sucked all my attention (rightfully so), and when they didn’t need me, I was on my phone. So she lured me in. Ya know what, I’m so glad she did! It was wonderful. Sydney and I ran around the yard for a good 10 minutes. Throwing toys, running full speed, and playing chase. If dogs could laugh, I’m pretty sure sydney would’ve been laughing her head off. Her eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning. I sat in the grass with her and looked up in the sky. I saw the trees, heard the birds chirping, and watched the sun go down. It was a beautiful moment, that I almost missed because facebook, instagram, and snapchat were all calling my name.
How many beautiful moments are we missing with our kids, our spouse, or even our dogs? And what, to come to the end of our life and say “well, I got 100 likes on that picture! So worth it.” Nah…
I don’t think any of us TRULY want that.
What I want is to not miss my kids first steps, or their first big boo-boo. To be there when they need me. Not at 20%, but at 100%. To enjoy the world with them. To dig for worms; drink water out of a hose; splash in puddles; dance in the rain. That’s what I truly want. I want to show them Christ, in everything. In the tiny flower growing by the mailbox and in the ocean waves. Christ is not in my phone. These moments are not in my phone.
Stop reading this blog. Go hug your babies, your spouse, even your dog. They need you.
The life that God has planned for you. This is what popped into my head this morning while sitting at my breakfast bar, looking out the window. It’s raining here, it probably will all day. My babies are sleeping (yes, at the same time! Hallelujah!). […]
Ya know how many times I was asked today if my children were twins? Over twenty times. No, I’m not joking. My family was out and about for about 4 hrs today. If you’re a twin parent, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you’re not a twin parent, please don’t ask a twin parent if they have twins (ha). Seriously though, it starts with:
“Oh my goodness! Are those twins?” Yes.
“Wow!!! I always wanted twins.” Cool.
“How old are they?” ___ months.
“That’s amazing! Boy and a girl?” Nope, two girls!
“Aweee, well are they identical?” yep!
“That so cute!” Yep, they sure are.
“How did you even carry twins? You look great”.
This is usually when I try to step away from the conversation slowly.
I love people. I am a people person. I’m one of those annoying people in the grocery store line that wants to chat and make new friends. So I get it. Twins are awesome. Before I had twins of my own, I probably would’ve asked the same questions! So I cant really be mad, right? I mean, my kids are pretty adorable (possibly biased here), and twins in general are just one of those things that you don’t see every day.
My husband and I handle these situations quite differently, though. He runs. BOY, does he run fast. If you ask questions, he’s gone. Small talk isn’t his thing, and he definitely is very “papa bear” over our little girls. I on the other hand, usually talk. Again, I like people. I’ll give them about one minute to ask all the questions they want, then I start to ease back.
I knew I wanted to write a blog post about this, but I want to be very gentle with the way I word this. My intent is not to make everyone out to seem rude or ridiculous for asking questions. Most peoples intentions are so pure. And if you personally know me, please, ask away. I love talking about my beautiful girls. But if you’re a stranger, and I don’t know you, maybe we should rethink the way we approach people so suddenly. Would you like it if I came up to you abruptly and said :
“Oh my gosh. Are you wearing a red shirt today? That is amazing! It is cotton? I see there is animal hair on your shirt! Do you have an animal? How do you care for this animal while you are at the grocery store? etc.”
So my friends, here are sweet things to say to parents of twins if you must ask questions/make comments:
- Wow, your twins are so beautiful/What precious babies!
- You are so blessed!
- You’ll make it through! These upcoming years will be hard I’m sure, but God gave you your girls for a reason.
- Wow, it looks like your hands are full, can I help you with something?
- They are going to have such a great time growing up together!
- They look just alike, how fun!
These are just examples. Again, my purpose isn’t to make anyone feel bad for asking questions. We all have curiosities about things in this world. Just remember, we are every day people just like you. Sometimes, I just want to go to the grocery store without being approached by strangers. I know we will get comments the rest of our life, but it sure would be lovely to not have to repeat the same story 20 times in a 4 hr span, yes? I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so genuine. So curious about my family. For loving on us, without knowing us. That’s what makes the good in the world – people who truly care. Maybe we think before we speak. Maybe we be slow to speak, and quick to smile. A smile goes a long way, ya know.
Thanks for reading, friends!
*We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Who else LOVES smoothies? A couple of years ago, I had no idea […]
*This post may contain affiliate links. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.* With Valentines day upon us, who doesn’t […]
You are my whole heart, outside of my body. I can already tell in these three short months since you were born, that we will be the best of friends. Your sweet little toes are so perfect. Your smiles light up the room. God made you both into such perfection in my eyes.
Please don’t grow up too fast. The whole world is ahead of you, but so much thought and love is in the current moment. Although you two are identical, my hope is that you will be your own people. That you will lean on each other in the good and bad, but that you trust yourselves enough as individuals to not need the support of one another for every single decision you make in life.
I pray that you love each other with an open heart. Forgive each other as Christ forgave you, because that’s what’s important.
Please share your toys. Sharing is caring. Although it may be hard, you will be a better person someday for it.
Learn to make separate friends. You will always be there for each other, but you need your independence as well. New people means new experiences that you may not have otherwise, so be open-minded.
Be open to change. Life is full of it. It will hit you in the face one day. I as your mother, promise to teach you how to take life by the handles and hold on tight. We can’t control what comes tomorrow, but we can control our attitudes in the present moment.
Please don’t be mean girls. It’s not worth it. Be the girls that people want to hang out with. The ones that light up the room when they walk in. Show Christ in everything you do, because He is the one that is really holding you through life.
I promise to teach you the best I can, but please be gentle on me. We are a team. You will get mad at me; disobey me; run from me; and possibly even hate me at times; but please know that I will forever love you. Despite the choices you make, the love I have for you can never be erased.
Be happy. Don’t involve yourself with things, or people that bring you down. Life is too short for that. Surround yourself with uplifting spirits.
Hold onto one another. There are times that I won’t be able to.
Love others as Christ loves you. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. There are some really wonderful people out there.
As you date, please date to marry. Date to find the one that will forever hold your heart. Don’t settle.
I love you with my whole entire being T. and N. don’t ever forget that as you grow…